LANDLORD REGISTRATION
\nTo clean up all the dirty slums
\nAnd clear out all the scruffy bums
\nScotland in it`s infinite wisdom
\nHas introduced a landlord system<\/p>\n
Scotland`s a land of milk and honey
\nWhere Salmon swim in a pool of money
\nThey`re making laws and they`re making them stick
\nAll these ASBO`s are making me sick<\/p>\n
Decent Homes is what they seek
\nBut who`s the rogue and who`s the meek?
\nIs it that the landlords smell
\nOr is that stink the tenants from Hell?<\/p>\n
A law they brought to the Scottish House
\nBut Some say it`s superfluous
\nThere`s plenty laws in our fine nation
\nWithout this landlord registration<\/p>\n
For lairds to make their registration
\nThey need to make their declaration
\nOn a web-site for the cause
\nAnd fill out every single clause<\/p>\n
You need to have great power of recall
\nTo complete the security questions and all
\nThe information asked is quite absurd
\nThen eight letters and a number for your personal password<\/p>\n
They say that “Landlord Registration”
\nIs a web-site that works, but you`ve got to be patient
\nQuestions,codewords,numbers too
\nHow will I remember what to do?<\/p>\n
You need to enter your own password
\nAnd a tome of answers that`s quite absurd
\nYou need to enter the owner`s name
\nAnd whether he bought it as his hame<\/p>\n
Then put in the appartment`s address
\nIs it first floor right or east or west?
\nA or B or 1 or 2
\nNobody knows what to do<\/p>\n
Then put in your granny`s name
\nAnd when she left her heilin` hame
\nWas it 1942 ?
\nAnd was her favourite colour blue ?<\/p>\n
Enter your father`s date of birth
\nThen your mother`s granny`s girth
\nThe codes they seek are quite quite exhaustive
\nFamily secrets and friends forgot of<\/p>\n
Once you`re done it`s just the start
\nNow you`re on on to the second part
\nMore of the same What`s the score?
\nWho was it said “less is more”?<\/p>\n
By the time you`re on to their internet site
\nYou might be feeling somewhat contrite
\nDo not worry do not frown
\nyour internet connection has just gone down<\/p>\n
Before you shoot yourself in the head
\nRemember what the message said
\nDo not write by skype nor cable
\nThe web-site is temporarily, unavailable<\/p>\n
So if you`ve paid the landlords fee
\nAnd been through all that third degree
\nAnd wonder who is the beneficiary
\nPerhaps you should ask the Scottish judiciary?<\/p>\n
16 Million Scottish pounds
\n To get the scheme up off the ground
\n16 million`s really mental
\nI widnae mind that ……. fur a nice wee rental?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
LANDLORD REGISTRATION To clean up all the dirty slums And clear out all the scruffy bums Scotland in it`s infinite wisdom Has introduced a landlord system Scotland`s a land of milk and honey Where Salmon swim in a pool of money They`re making laws and they`re making them stick All \u2026 Continue reading